The cute, the cool and the nerdy
by Jaded candy
Summary: Ever imagined what roles the yorozuya would get if they went into acting?, well, this l'il ficcie could answer your question.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

The yorozuya were at home, doing their usual afternoon routine, Gin was watching Ketsuno-ana's new's report, Shinpachi was out at an Otsuu fan club meeting and Kagura was taking sadaharu for a walk, but she did'nt exactly take him for a walk, cuz, she never got him past the door, so instead, she stayed back at yorozuya hq, watching the news report with Gin.

''Why does Gin-chan even watch this stuff?" She was sprawled on the couch '' it's so boring uh-huh''

''Shut up!" Gintoki yelled at her for calling the news, reported by his dear Ketsuno, boring ''If you don't want to watch it, then find something else to do, I don't remember asking you to watch it''

Kagura did nothing but lie on the couch, pouting her mouth in annoyance. Fortunately for her, shinpachi had just returned, along with a customer.

''I'm back!" Shinpachi said as he stepped inside ''and there's a customer with me''

Shinpachi led the customer to a couch where he sat down, then he went to take a seat next to Kagura on the other couch.

''Gin-san, didn't you hear me?, I said we have a customer'' shinpachi called to Gin, who was still watching the news report

''Sorry, he's not usually like this'' shinpachi apologised on Gin's behalf to the customer, then got up, grabbed the remote control and switched off the t.v., forcing Gin to attend to the customer

''What do you want?" Gin blurted out in annoyance

''I'll start by introducing myself'' the customer began '' my name is Daisuke Takaguchi, I'm a movie producer''

''A movie producer?" Kagura repeated

''Daisuke Takaguchi?, never heard of you'' Gin said gruffly''

''Well, I've just recently joined the industry, so it's understandable if you haven't heard of me before, I haven't exactly produced a movie yet''

''So?, do you have a job for us or not?" Gin asked, not caring about about what the customer had just said

''Of course ''

''Well spit it out!" Kagura folded her arms impatiently

'' I have an idea for a movie that'll boost my career to the top'' he began '' I call it, the cute, the cool and the nerdy''

The trio stared at him blankly and an akward silence followed

''So what do you think?" He looked at them expectantly ''brilliant isn't it?"

Their faces reddened before they broke into laughter,

''I've never heard of a more ridiculous title!" Kagura held her tummy while still laughing '' no wonder I've never heard of you!"

''I haven't finished '' he stated '' I'd want the three of you to be the main cast of the movie''

''What!" The three stopped laughing '' no way are we gonna star in that stupid movie!"

''I forgot to mention that I'll be paying you each, over 2 million yen, apart from the money you'll earn after the movie is finished''

The atmosphere changed suddenly, ''2-2-2 million yen!"

He nodded

''I'll be happy to take this Job, sir'' Gin said to the customer, his mood changed over the amount of money he was going to earn

''It's good to see you're all pleased with it'' he said to the three, who truly, were ready to do anything for that amount of money

''I have to ask, have any of you had any experience in acting'' Daisuke asked

''Come to think of it, no'' shinpachi replied

''Well, that won't do'' Daisuke shook his head '' I can't hire you if you can't act''

''We'll take acting lessons!" Kagura said

''Yeah, I'm a natural, I'll be a pro actor in no time'' Gin assured him

''Okay then, but one more thing''

''What's that?" Shinpachi asked

''I'll assign each of you with the roles you're going to have in the movie'' he pulled out a piece of paper ''Sakata-san will be the cute, Kagura-chan will be the cool and Shimura-san will be the...''

''The nerdy'' shinpachi sighed

''We promise to train ourselves and be the best actors we can be'' Gin said ''we won't let you down''

''Good, I'll see you in two weeks time then'' he said, then left. And the three went on with their day.

The next day, the yorozuya were having breakfast, when there was a knock at the door

''Coming '' shinpachi said before going to open the door

As he opened the door, he saw a delivery man holding a medium sized package,

''Can I help you?" Shinpachi asked

''Yes, I have a package for the yorozuya ''

''That's us ''shinpachi replied

''Okay, please sign here'' he gave shinpachi a clipboard on which he signed, ''and here is your package''

''Thank you'' shinpachi said and then went back in

''Oi, shinpachi, who was it?"Gintoki called from his desk

''A delivery from...'' he looked at the box, for the name of the person who had sent them the package ''Takaguchi-san''

''Eh?, let me see ''Kagura dragged the package from shinpachi's hand and set it on the table

''What could it be?" Shinpachi asked, curious

''D'you think it's a life time supply of food '' Kagura's face lit up as she asked the question

''Uh, I'm pretty sure it isn't '' shinpachi chuckled

''Well, the only way to find out is to open it'' Gintoki got up and came to the table, where he cut the package open with a razor. Then the three peered inside, curious of what was there, Gin pulled something out, it was make-up, he threw that on the couch, then brought something else out of the package, it was a dress, that had the designs that were on his usual clothing, after eying it a bit, he threw that on the couch as well, and continued bringing out the things in the box. Shinpachi picked up the items Gin threw on the couch, and stared in surprise at them.

''Gin-san'' shinpachi called

The samurai looked at him in response, '' what?"

Shinpachi held up the dress and make-up kit, and Gintoki stared in shock as well at what he saw, written on a small piece of paper that was stuck on the dress, was this: Konnichiwa, Sakata-san, I took the liberty of buying your costumes for the movie, great right?, keep in mind that you'll have to stay in character for the next two weeks, if you go out of character even once, the deal is off, how will I know when you go out of character?, well, that's for me to know and for you to probably never find out, and also, staying in character means wearing the outfits and acting the part, so-uh, GOOD LUCK!.

''**TEME!**" Gintoki violently tore the note and then burned them, ( with a fire blower that came out of nowhere) , into untraceable particles.

Kagura at the time was admiring her outfit, which she thought was cool, while shinpachi was sulking as he looked at his clothes.

MEANWHILE...

At the shinsengumi hq, the top three, Kondo Isao, Hijikata Toushirou and Okita Sougo, were in a meeting with someone who came to them in need of their services.

''So, Takaguchi-san'' Kondo began the conversation ''you said you were in need of our help, what can we do for you?''

''Well...'' he started with a grin '' I'd like you to spy on some people for me?"

''Are you sure you're at the right place?'' Hijikata arched a brow '' we don't do that kind of work for civilians, not unless the people you want us to spy on are suspected criminals''

''Yeah, that kind of job will be suitable for the yorozuya'' Kondo added '' you should go to them''

''But you see...those are the people I want you to spy on''

''What!, why?"

''I always knew they were criminals'' Okita said ''so when do you want me to kill 'em?"

''I don't want you to kill anybody, and they're not criminals, I just want you guys to keep an eye on them'' he told them '' all for a good price ''

''That won't be necessary, we get paid by the government'' Kondo said

''Alright then, so will you help me?"

The men exchanged looks and came to a conclusion '' we'll help you ''

''Good, to make it easier, I'd like it if you each spied on one particular person''

''I'll watch china'' Okita offered, with every intention to cause her 'unexplainable' demise.

''Okay, Hijikata-san, you'll spy on Sakata-san ''

''WHAT!, NO!"

''And lastly, Kondo-san, you'll spy on Shimura-san''

''Hai'' kondo replied

Takaguchi went on to explain eerything else, about the acting, the roles and so on. After the briefing, the three shinsengumi members set out to do their part, and Takaguchi went back to his place.

''And so begins my masterpiece'' he grinned

Yatta!, I'm done with the first chappie, I'm hoping for some reviews to motivate me to keep writing, so PLEASE!, review after reading,

Thank you very much!.


	2. Chapter 2

Gintoki had a sour expression on his face as he examined his appearance in the mirror, a fitted blue and white flare gown, with designs similar to his usual outfit, ( as I mentioned in the previous chappie), with short, puffy sleeves, and black knee length boots. That was manageable, what wasn't, was the make-up he had to apply, and much to his misfortune, Tae, who shinpachi had told of this whole thing, had offered to do his make-up, since he couldn't refuse, his face was now what looked like the work of a blind artist that painted scenes of death.

''Tch,she can't cook neither can she apply make-up'' Gintoki grumbled to himself ''what the heck can she do then?!"

His complaining could be heard from the living room, and was ignored, shinpachi was too busy sulking at the sight of his costume and kagura was showing off hers to sadaharu, who clearly didn't care. Gintoki came out of the bathroom later, after convincing himself that all this was worth it. He slumped down on his chair and turned on the t.v

''Aren't you gonna do something to improve your acting?" Shinpachi asked the samurai

''Nope''

''What do you mean 'no'?!" The teenager replied ''we're supposed to be getting in character''

Gintoki ignored him

''What do you think of the make-up, Gin-san?" Tae came out of the kitchen and set down a plate of fried eggs on the table ''do you like it?"

Tae was smiling but they all knew what that smile would turn to, if Gin spoke his mind about the make-up she had done, seeing as he favoured his life, he did the right thing.

Tae was looking at him expecting an answer on what the question she had just asked, ''so what do you think?"

Gin tried to avoid the question ''about what''

''Your face, silly'' she giggled

After a short pause he finally answered ''it's terrible''

_**POW!**_

Gintoki was now on his way to the hospital because of doing 'the right thing'

A feeling of immense pain came through his cheek and stomach, each felt like a wrecking ball had been swung all around the world before coming to hit him. How could a woman punch that hard, and believe me when I say, I'm not exaggerating. His spy, Hijikata Toushirou had been watching him since he came out of his house. Gintoki had managed to limp to the hospital after a couple of minutes, he walked up to the receptionist and asked to see the doctor

''I'm sorry but there are no doctor's available right now'' the receptionist replied as she filed her nails, not noticing the hideous patient infront of her

Gintoki eyed her and then went to look for a doctor himself, he wandered around the building and was getting wierd looks from people, cuz of how he was dressed, until he was found by a nurse, who thought he had 'problems' and took him to a psychiatrist, just imagine this, a grown man in a cute gown with a terrible display of make-up on his face and not to mention the bruises he had after tae beat him up.

''Sensei, there's a patient here to see you ''she said

''Bring him in'' the doctor replied (and don't ask me how the doctor knew the patient was a guy)

''Come in sir'' the nurse told Gin

Gin walked further into the doctor's office and sat down on a chair waiting to be treated, seconds later the doctor, who was a dark-haired lady in a lab coat, was ready to see him.

''So what brings you here?" She looked at him through her glasses

''My tummy hurts like crazy'' he voiced out

''Okay, let me see'' she touched a part of his tummy, and he squirmed in pain'' well, good news is you don't seem to have any broken bones, although, I'm not sure, cuz I'm not that kind of doctor''

''So what's the bad news?"

''You have a horrible sense of fashion'' she mused ''did you even look at yourself before coming out of your house?"

''Actually yes'' Gin bothered himself to reply and then got uo to leave

''Now I'm certain that with my skills, I can make anyone look like a pretty girl'' she stated ''even a crossdressing moron''

Gintoki stopped, despite the fact that she had just insulted him, he believed she could help, ''so you're saying you can make me look a lot better than this?"

''Yup'' she grinned widely.

Scene change

Kagura was walking around town, in her 'cool' new outfit, she didn't get any wierd looks from people like Gin did, she liked the role that she was given and she felt she could do really well in the movie, she was a natural. Or so she thinks. As she walked, she felt someone watching or following her, but everytime she turned back, there was no one there, eventually, she just shook it off as nothing important and kept enjoying her day.

Okita , who was spying on her, was rather surprised at what she was wearing, the first word that came to his mind when he first saw her was, cool!, but he could never say that out, because his pride won't let him. Carefully and quietly, like the pro spy that he is, he followed Kagura all over kabuki town, at a point he got bored and decided to make things a little interesting.

Kagura was minding her own business, with no idea that a missile was heading in her direction, she stopped after hearing a loud sound, turned around, and gasped at what was coming for her, quicky she opened her umbrella to shield herself from the impact, she stumbled a bit and finally gained her balance, she still had a surprised look on her face as she tried to figure out what had just happened, her question was answered when she heard a sound familiar to a sword being unsheathed and looked back, a feeling of anger came over her.''You!"

''Hey china'' Okita said with a snicker

**Phew!, this took me three days to write, but I'm finally done, I hope it wasn't too boring or short or, well...anything. I'll be updating soon though, so please keep Reading and reviewing. THANKS!.**


	3. Chapter 3

''You!" Kagura glared at the sandy-haired boy, grinning mischievously at her

''Hey china'' he snickered ''did you miss me?''

He took a step forward, Kagura noticed this and shot several bullets on the ground to stop him'' next time it'll be your legs, sadist''

''Well, someone's angry'' he teased, not feeling the least bit intimidated by her ''and after I went through all this trouble to come see you''

_Yeah, to come see you to your grave!_

''Go away sadist'' she turned her back and started to leave, she didn't have time for him today

Okita was disappointed, he decided he was going to have to stir up her anger a bit more so she could entertain him, he placed his sword back in it's sheath and picked up a more extreme weapon, with an evil glint in his eye and the hope of Kagura's demise in his heart, he aimed his double missile bazooka right for Kagura, and...

The explosion was heard probably all over the city, the people around where it had happened rushed to the scene, waiting for the smoke to clear so they could see what happened, when they did, their jaws dropped at the scene before them, never before had an alien girl been so angry, **''SAAAAAADIST!"**

Okita stood there, bazooka in hand, he was clearly responsible for the explosion, while everyone stood shocked, Kagura wasted no time before charging towards him, with one thing in her mind,''Kill him!"

Meanwhile...

Back at the hospital, the lady doctor had gotten busy, for about half an hour or so, she had been turning Gintoki into one of the cutest girls ever, ''Done!". She turned Gintoki's chair to face a mirror so he could judge his new look, ''so what do you think''

A smile crept on Gin's lips, ''Perfectly cute"

Outside, on a tree next to the doctor's office, Hijikata sat on a branch with almost all his colour gone, he was looking through his binoculars at Gin who now actually looked like a girl, a cute girl, he looked away before vomiting, the vomit unfortunately hit a passerby but he didn't care, he put on the binoculars again, to continue spying on Gin but he wasn't there, as he looked around the office for the silver-haired samurai, his eyes fell on the lady doctor, who was quite surprised at seeing him

''S-S-S-Stalker!" She screamed

Hijikata panicked and in attempt to get down from the tree and run away, the branch broke and he fell, landing him in the hospital.

Scene change

Kagura and okita were now fighting, Kagura was aimed at seriously hurting Okita, not even caring about the buildings they were destroying, people had cleared the scene so as to not get hurt by the two monsters, the police couldn't stop them and fled as well, especially after Okita shot a missile at their cars, the two were at it for nearly an hour until someone managed to stop them.

''Okita-san, Kagura-chan!" Someone called out to them, surprisingly, they stopped fighting and looked to the person

A young man smiled at the two as he approached them

''Takaguchi-san'' the two said in unison

''What?, you know him?" Kagura asked Okita

''Uh...''

''Yeah, we're-uh, friends'' Takaguchi quickly said, before Okita blew his cover

''What're you doing here?" Kagura asked

''Well, I noticed you weren't following our 'deal' ''

''What do you mean?"

''Your character is the cool one, right?"

''Yeah''

''Well a cool person won't have their clothes in shreds, or fight like a crazy monster, destroying everything in it's path'' Takaguchi pointed at Kagura's nearly shredded clothes '' like I mentioned before, if you don't stay in character, no deal''

''This time I'll be sure to stay in character'' she glared at the sadist, who was the cause of the issue ''I promise''

''Okay then '' Takaguchi returned to his cheerful smile '' good luck ''

Kagura closed her umbrella and dusted herself, then started walking off, Okita waited for her to give some distance before he continued following her, then she stopped and looked back.

''Oi, sadist ''

''What?"

''How do you stay in character?"

''...''

_Just how much more daft can this girl get?!_

Scene change

Shimura shinpachi was on his way to their family's dojo, since Gin and kagura left, and he was the only one, he decided to spend the rest of the day with his older sister, who unfortunately wasn't home, so now he was taking a walk around town. The person asked to spy on him, Kondou Isao, was not too far from the teenager, he believed that in order to keep a close eye on him, he had to be very, very close. Shinpachi sweat dropped as he noticed his sister's stalker, now stalking him

''Kondou-san'' Shinpachi said as politely as he could ''what are you doing?"

''Keeping an eye on you''

''Why?"

''Because, as my future brother-in-law...''

''Wait, what!" The teenager cut him off '' brother-in-law?!, since when?!"

''No need to worry about that'' Kondo ignored the question ''what's important is that I need to spend more time with you, and get to know you better, infact, I've planned out our whole schedule for today''

''You what?" Shinpachi said in disbelief

''First we're gonna go to the amusement park, then to the arcade, then the movies...''

Shinpachi didn't hear the rest, as the words ''I'm spending my day with a gorilla'' kept ringing in his head, Kondo on the other hand, didn't even care about the job he was assigned before, and was only looking forward to improving his friendship with shinpachi, in attempt to get closer to Otae, ( strange, I never thought a gorilla was capable of thinking that way), anyway, since he had nothing better to do, he grudgingly agreed to the gorrila's plan for their day.

Scene change

Hijikata was lying on a bed in the psychiatrist's office, since no other place was vacant, or at least that's what the lazy receptionist said. He was feeling better after he woke up, but his leg hurt so he couldn't get up

''Feeling better, stalker?" Hijikata frowned at the silver haired samurai, seated comfortably while sipping some strawberry milk through a straw''you gave the doctor quite a shock, y'know''

Hijikata ignored that, and groaned at the pain in his legs

''Yeah, you won't be able to get up till tomorrow''

''Say what!" He winced in pain as he tried to raise his head

''Your whole body's practically paralized until tomorrow, so don't try to move''

''Great, just what I needed''

Scene change

Kondo and Shinpachi were at their first stop for the day, the amusement park. Kondo was staring in horror at the tracks in front of him as he sat next to shinpachi on a roller coaster, he wanted to punch himself for not remembering that he had a VERY unstable bladder when it came to these kind of things.

''Kondo-san'' shinpachi called to the dazed man ''are you okay?, you don't look so good''

After forcing back a vomit, Kondo replied ''I'll be fine, don't worry''

''Ok-ay''

In a matter of seconds the ride began, screams of the passengers were heard as they went down bends and came out of tunnels, even Shinpachi enjoyed the ride and he was a bit unhappy when it came to an end, as the ride stopped, everyone came down and some stayed back to ride it was already on his way out when a scene caught his attention. People were crowding a place, and he decided to take a look. As his eyes caught was there, words could not explain the shock he felt.

''How did he get up there?" People wondered, referring to the middle aged man hanging from the top of the roller coaster

''Adults shouldn't even be riding this thing'' some shook their head

But the most humiliating thing was noticed by a young girl, ''hey, what's that liquid stuff dripping from his pants?"

End of chappie 3, and sorry for not updating sooner, I was working on my other fanfic


	4. Chapter 4

**The cute, the cool and the nerdy- chapter 4**

**Disclaimer- I believe the word 'disclaimer', is enough to let you know what's supposed to be written here**

''Kondo-san, please come out'' Shinpachi begged the man for the millionth time, he was standing infront of the toilet stall, where the shinsengumi commander had ran inside and started crying ''it's not that embarrasing''

''No, it's humiliating!" Kondo yelled back with a sniffle ''did you see that little girl laughing at me?!, oh the shame''

The teenager rolled his eyes at the wailing man, ''oh brother..''

Scene change

At the Shinsengumi hq, wierd looks were shot into the living room, where they sighted a vermillion haired girl, holding a large hand fan and using it on their first squad captain, who was sitting down munching on some grapes. The vermillion haired girl was strangely wearing a t-shirt that had 'Okita-Sama's loyal servant' written boldly on it with a marker.

''Servant ''Okita called as he rang a little bell

''Yes...Master'' she replied while gritting her teeth at him

''Could you get me some more grapes?'' He dropped the bell and pointed to the plate that once had a bunch of grapes in it ''these are finished''

''I'll be...right...back'' she tossed the fan away as gently as she could, and stormed out of the room. Once she was out of earshot, Yamazaki came into the room, to find out more of what was going on

''Okita-san''

''What is it''

''Eh, why is 'she' here'' he pointed at the possible direction of the said girl

''She's my servant''

''What!, how'd that happen, aren't you two sworn enemies?''

''Yeah''

''So why-''

Before he could finish his statement, The vermillion haired girl returned with a bunch of grapes in her hand

''Here'' she threw them at her 'master'

He caught it without stress ''is that anyway to treat your master, china?" He scolded

''No, but that's surely a way to treat you, uh-huh'' she frowned ''and besides, how does this help me get into character?"

''You'll see'' he placed a grape in his mouth and chewed ''just keep doing everything I say''

''You really are a sadist, y'know '' Yamazaki said

''Servant, please show that monkey the way out'' Okita ordered her

''Yes...''she swallowed a small vomit ''...master''

Kagura was so busy glaring at Okita, that she didn't know when she kicked Yamazaki on the stomach, making him shoot through the wall and landing outside, next to a tree.

''Good job, servant'' Okita praised her unintentional work ''now get over here and feed me these grapes, will ya''

Kagura glared at him, ''no!" She picked up her parasol ''do it yourself!"

She walked to the door and reached for the handle, when her hand was stopped. She frowned at the sandy haired boy, tightly holding her wrist

''You're not going anywhere'' he told her with a little grin, this made Kagura fume with anger

Kagura didn't respond, but instead she reached for her parasol and aimed to hit his head with it, but he used his other hand to stop it. She then kicked him, but not too hard, so he just stumbled a bit and still had his hold on one of her hands. ''Let go of me!" She violently pulled her hand out of his, and used that same hand to punch him, the punch didn't have that much effect though, but now that her hand was free, she made a run for the door, she kicked it open and ran towards the entrance. Sougo didn't feel like letting her run away, so he picked up his bazooka, which seems to always be around him, and shot at Kagura. The vermillion haired girl wasn't prepared for the impact, and she found herself on the street with a bruised leg, ''OW!"

''Oh china...'' Okita called out in a deadpanned voice ''are you dead?"

Kagura slowly managed to lift herself up, ''when I get my hands on you-'' a crack was heard and she yelped in pain, and fell down. On the ground, she heard footsteps and then saw the feet of someone in front of her, she was about to ask for help, when...

_Click!_, was the sound heard when Okita locked a dog collar on Kagura's neck

''What the-'' was what kagura said

Pain, was what Okita felt when Kagura punched his leg, thereby breaking it

Anger and hatred, is what the two felt towards each other when they found themselves on the ground next to each other, with broken legs, each with the hope of being able to get up and strangle the other, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon

Scene change

Takaguchi was seated in his office, with multiple screens facing him. He palmed his face after seeing the position Kagura and her assigned spy were in and what happened to Kondo and Hijikata.

''I told you not to do this'' a lady seated in the office said, her hazel brown eyes mocked him ''but then again, you never listen to me, not even when I said we said I don't want to get married to that guy, and that's why I'm wearing this'' she grimaced at the expensive golden ring on her finger

''Your complaining doesn't help'' Takaguchi said, eyeing the lady

''But it makes you feel more miserable, so that's why I do it'' a sly smile graced her lips before she took a sip of her drink

''Why are you here anyway'' he frowned at her smile

''I just wanted to see how your 'masterpiece' was coming along'' a mocking glare accompanied the smile ''and by the looks of it, it's doing terribly''

''Make yourself useful and check on them for me'' he ignored her last comment

''And why would I want to do that''

''Because if this movie doesn't go well'' he gave his own grin''you can forget about the increase in your allowance''

''You wouldn't'' she gasped in disbelief

He only replied with a grin, to this she picked up her keys and left the office.

''Works every time''

Scene change

Shinpachi was still in the men's bathroom at the amusement park, he had given up hope of getting the commander out of the toilet stall, the wailing had stopped but he still didn't want to come out, you couldn't blame him, LOTS of people saw his littke 'leakage', and to make matters worse, it was on T.V, poor guy, I almost feel sorry for him.

Shinpachi was brought out of his thougts when the door swung open, and a gas bomb was thrown in, he could hear the footsteps of someone walking in, but he couldn't see who it was before he passed out.

Scene change

Shinpachi woke up , he wasn't sitting up so he straightened his posture, and that's when he found out he was tied to a chair, and not just him, so was Kagura, Gin, and the top three from the shinsengumi, including Kondo. While he was wondering why he was there, his attention was drawn to the door, which was just opened, and a blonde lady in professional clothes, walked in with three large men in black suits behind her, his eyes followed her until she took a seat across him and every one else on both sides of Shinpachi.

''Wake them up'' she orderd one of the men, one brough out a small mega phone attached to a can and pressed the top of the can, which released a loud siren, waking every one who still wasn't awake

''Why was it so loud!" The lady yelled at him

He had an aplogetic look on his face as he said he was sorry, and the lady forgave him, and then she turned to the others who were now awake

''Where am I?" Kagura looked around confused ''am I dead?"

''Yeah, are we dead?, was that loud sound just now, the trumpet that's to be sounded on the last day?'' Gin asked

''We're not dead'' Kondo said '' if we were, I'd be in Otae's arms, and since I'm not, I refuse to belive that were dead''

''He's right '' Gin added '' I don't see any fountains of strawberry milk, so I refuse to believe to belive that I'm dead''

''And I can't see any of Hijijata's corpses'' Okita said ''oh wait, there's one''

''I'm alive you SADIST!" Hijikata yelled

''I don't see any of my sadist man servants either'' Kagura pouted

''Oi, do you people honestly believe you're gonna see those things in heaven?!" The lady interrupted them

''Who are you?" Gin raised a brow at her

''Are you Otae in a more professional sense'' Kondo wondered

''I'll be your worst nightmare if you don't shut up'' she threatened, still keeping her composure ''anyway, as for the reason I brought you here. My name is Ayame Takaguchi, I'm the daughter of your employer''

End of chapter four

I'd like to apologize for not updating before, I had a little problem with my internet service, but now it's all better, Hooray!

Kagura: who cares, I'm more concerned about why you dubbed me as 'Okita-sama's loyal servant'?!

Me: I thought it'll be funny

Kagura: and why did you make it look like I want to have sadist in heaven with me!

Me: ( shrugs shoulders ) I felt like it

Kagura : I don't like it, so change it!

Me:( fold hands ) I don't want to

Kagura : change it!

Me: no

Kagura : change it!

Me: no

Kagura : change it!

Me: no

Kagura: change it!

Me: we can do this all day

Kagura: grrr...

Me: anyway, on to more important matters. Please read and review, and thank you all for your positive reviews, it means a lot to me, and I expect to be updating soon, that is ,if nothing stops me, like school, so that's it and bye!


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

**DISCLAIMER: Gintama is mine, mine, mine! ( yeah right )**

''I'm Ayame Takaguchi, the daughter of your employer''

''Really?" Kagura raised a brow ''you don't look like him ''

''I took after my mom'' she bothered herself to reply '' now keep quiet and let me talk ''

''Sure, but could you get me something to eat first'' Kagura asked, and everyone stared at her in amazement as she had somehow gotten out of the ropes

''How did you-'' Ayame stared at the girl in surprise ''never mind that, as I was saying-''

''BORING!" Kagura pouted and crossed her arms

''I haven't even said anything!"

''You didn't need to, it's written all over your face that you're boring''

''I am not!"

''Yes you are''

''I am not!" She slammed her hand on the table ''would you just shut your mouth and let me finish!"

''...No''

''Grrr...'' Ayame's composure was long gone and she was practically about to explode now

''Hey lady, your face is getting all red, what's wrong with you?" Kagura looked at her in confusion ''are you blushing at one of the guys?"

Ayame flinched at that statement

''You have really bad taste, uh-huh''

''What is that supposed to mean!" Gin yelled ''I'm pretty attractive I'll have you know''

''Your addiction to jump and sugar is enough to repel even Catherine from liking you''

**''What was that?!"**

**Scene change**

At Otose's snack shop, Catherine sneezed three times out of the blue

''Are you coming down with a cold or something?" Otose asked her employee as she took a whiff of her cigarette

''No, I don't think so'' she laughed

''What's so funny'' the old lady asked

''I've heard of this myth that says, when you sneeze three times all of a sudden, it means that someone is talking bad of you, and hates you''

''Really...'' Otose turned her gaze to the passerbyes outside, _'so how come she hasn't been sneezing all this while I've been talking badly about her?'_

Scene change

The six were still where they were before, only this time, they were chained and not tied up, and their mouths were covered with duck-tape, the extra sticky kind, if there is an extra sticky kind.

''Now!" Ayame whipped her cane around ''I don't want any more interruptions, especially from you!'' She pointed to Kagura with the cane''is that clear?"

Kagura stared at her in silence

''I said...'' she got angry ''IS THAT CLEAR!"

''HOW THE HECK DO YOU WANT ME TO ANSWER YOU WHEN MY MOUTH IS SEALED?!'' The duck tape had somehow been peeled off

''SO THEN HOW DID YOU TALK JUST NOW?!" Ayame yelled back

''HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?''

''IT'S YOUR MOUTH, HOW WOULDN'T YOU KNOW?"

''I JUST DON'T KNOW''

''WHAT KIND OF DUMB RESPONSE WAS THAT?"

''DUMB HUH?, TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE''

''ARE YOU SAYING I'M STUPID?''

''OF COURSE NOT, I'M SAYING YOU'RE DUMB, THERE'S A DIFFERENCE, BUT I GUESS YOU WOULDN'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU'RE DUMB''

''HOW DARE-''

the yelling was interrupted by a rather cross perm-head

''WOULD YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP!"

Both heads slowly tilted towards the samurai

''did you just call us dumb?" They both asked simultaneously

''No I didn't'' sadly they didn't hear that last comment because they were too busy beating him to a pulp.

While all this was going on, the others sweat dropped as they watched the scene. Stupidity, it's a sad thing.

End of chappie 5

Thank you for reading!

Kagura: one last thing, should I beat up candy ( that's me ) for making me look like a fool, or should I sic sadaharu on her instead, please answer through reviews or else the next chapter won't be able to be published, thank you, :D

Me: ( speaking in a hush tone ) whatever you do, DO NOT answer that question!,


End file.
